Kalliyam

  Friday, May 26, 2023   Aho’ Rajanaka,   I hope this finds you well.  I try not to bore you but if there is such a thing as overload, overwhelm, and pile on, much less with consecutive adjectives, I am apparently unfamiliar.  A good pal of mine asked me yesterday now that University is out of session until September, “Does that mean you’re off now?”  We were on the phone so he couldn’t see the vacant, azoic, insensate look on my mineral face.   When I’m at a loss for words--- you’re laughing now --- I imagine I’m Patanjali in the state of  kaivalya  or pretend to be Lurch who Charles Addams described as, “ This towering mute…shambling around the house forever...He is not a very good butler but a faithful one...One eye is opaque, the scanty hair is damply clinging to his narrow flat head...generally the family regards him as something of a joke.”  This portraiture would not be far from true except for that “towering” part.  And unlike Lurch, my father never thought I would be a jockey.

  Friday, May 19, 2023 Aho’ Rajanaka, I hope this finds you well.  Yesterday we woke to a significant frost.  I took pictures.  I got receipts.  I really don’t remember frost quite this late but  neither  neither am I looking forward to using having lived too long as an excuse not to remember.  I do want to leave all “senior option” opportunities open---I discovered I am a “senior” in the eyes of the world about three times this week.  This should not warrant capital letters or even a WTF but I still take this more like accusation than mere description.  Am I being too sensitive? I have, how shall we say, about my seniorness ideas, even  feelings .  (I am as you know skeptical of mere feelings, in a Krsna Gita sorta’ way).  I mean to embrace the paradox in good Rajanaka fashion: hoary, time worn, obsolete, moth-eaten, antediluvian, out-moded  versus  venerable, mature, wiser for it.  The consolations we conjure are never simple because we are in the end only human. I also have feelings